Sunday, December 14, 2014

2014 Christmas Letter

2014 was an exciting year for us, and I think you all know the real reason why. After years of waiting, we were finally able to get new wood floors! #crazyblessed. What a time to be alive.

Dayna was able to retire from working at the school this year #ballermoney due to your basic run of the mill pregnancy routine. Step 1: don’t get pregnant for 8.5 years. Step 2: get a blood clot. Step 3: enjoy gestational diabetes. 4: Sometimes cry about hilarious things, like not owning a diaper bag, or that the kids at school hate you even though they don’t. Step 5: labor for 16 hours and then get chopped in half so they can pull a human out of your belly. Step 6: look good the whole time #kateuptonisugly.

Jack and Dayna rode down to Oceanside, California with Dayna’s sister and her husband in January (is this weird 3rd person thing weirding out the reader as much as it is the author? I mean, you know it’s either Jack or Dayna writing this, right? Well, either Jack or Dayna strongly agrees with you. It’s hard, but we stick with it #thesecolorsdontrunorevenjog.)

Oceanside is gorgeous. They were graciously invited by and stayed with Dayna’s grandparents, but in turn had to walk several dozen feet from their room to get to the ocean. They saw dolphins and whales and weird people and almost Steve Nash. Jack found out later that Nash lives right by where we stayed, which makes sense for rich people to make those kind of decisions.

Jack enjoyed Southern California so much that he took the whole family except for Dayna back down to Santa Monica in June. There he attended a private tour of Riot studios and sat front row for the League championship Series. He even had his picture taken with Will “Meteos” Hartman, and yes, he’s aware that most of you have no idea what any of this means, but this was really cool for him #nerdlifeforever.

It was our ninth anniversary this year, and we decided that since it was going to be our last one without children, we would do something fancy. Jack planned to take Dayna to an expensive restaurant in beautiful Sundance, Utah. The day of our anniversary, it turned out that Jack was too sick to watch Star Wars in bed, so the anniversary celebration was pushed back one week #isthedarksidestronger. Seven days later, Dayna completely ruined Jack’s romantic plans by thoughtlessly getting sick. At this point, can we even say we've been married 9 years? I guess legally we have to, but without spending too much money on a single meal, we both know-- in our hearts-- it’s a lie. Another lie was that whole ‘staying in third person’ thing. It just got really tedious, and this paper isn’t getting graded, so we dropped it

Our lovely dog Anne was also fortunate in 2014, as her parents' previously planned trip to Cancun was canceled by the arrival of her new little brother, Maximus.

It was a long day before he arrived. We got to the hospital at 6 AM on November 17th, and he was born at 10:57 PM. He let out a little cry when he emerged and promptly peed on his own face. Max is a special little guy, years in the making. We'd like to tell jokes about him in the future, but it’s honestly kind of difficult right now. We’re just really glad he showed up, even if he took his sweet time getting here.

Max grows leaps and bounds, seemingly every day. He has no siblings, so he’s started pulling his own hair. Still, he’s a patient boy, so he never hits back over the hair pulling. Jack is often jealous of Max-- eating all day, hanging out with Dayna, taking naps, no job and never paying bills-- it’s a sweet gig, no doubt, and one Jack aspires to.

As of the time of this writing, Max is developing his voice. He is not a baby that cries very often, but he's a pretty good grunter. Grunting means that he is communication one of three things: A) I need to burp, B) I need to break wind, or C) I have the ability to grunt.

Jumping back to first person, we're very happy with our growing little family. If you're reading this message, that really speaks to your character. It means that you've either avoided getting unfriended on Facebook all these years, or that you're too old for Facebook and probably live a weird, boring, Facebookless life. Either way, we're glad that you play a part in our lives, and hope you have a great Christmas and a happy new year #happyholidays #pleasenoonegetoffended #starwars7in1yearhype